Beginnings

7 June 2010

I have at last taken a week off work to work on MY dreams and not those of my employer. I have begun to take steps to start a little business making and selling craft online and at markets. I have been dedicated in doing a little bit at night after work and have created a modest inventory of items ready to sell. Or at least attempt to sell. Working at night is a challenge when I already work long hours in my day job, plus commuting, cooking dinner and all that. I have been intending to take some leave for a while but the trouble with being busy is that it is hard to get away. My day job is not my passion but I am too diligent to leave my colleagues in the lurch. At last things have slowed down enough to let me escape into my own life for a little while. I have a great long list of things to do. On Friday night I felt so excited about the week ahead. I took the weekend as time with my husband. Today is the day I begin my dream week.

There is no life without challenge however. After a long warm autumn winter has finally arrived. I have been too cold to sew today. Too cold to feel creative at all. I fear I am wasting the day. It is so deeply frustrating, this inertia I suffer. I just get started and I lose the flow, the stamina needed to drive ahead.

There was only one possible solution. Move out of the cold spare room that doubles as my little atelier, my studio, with lovely light but no heating. I am in the dark, cosy lounge with a fire instead. The internet is downloading a software trial of photoshop so I am drafting this on my laptop. I am determined not to waste time. This week’s to do list has many items. I just have to match the right item to the right moment. So you find me here, writing and warming my body while I nurse my heart out of its fear and inertia and back into action.

Apart from sewing and business pursuits my list this week includes cooking. Cooking to restock the freezer with lunches and dinners. All designed to help life flow along nicely when I am back at that W (work) place. Cooking will have the bonus of warming up the house. It is important to me to eat healthy, hearty, homecooked food. Lately I have been buying lunch as I have not taken the time to cook enough. Something always has to slip when you work too hard. Too often I have been happy with toast for dinner. Life is a series of stages, changes. But this stage, working late, buying lunch, skipping breakfast, always takes its toll, on my budget and on my energy levels. Its like this trap - you don’t have the energy to cook, so you don’t have the energy to cook, or do much else.

So this afternoon I am going to cook some pasta sauce, some vegetable lasagne and cannelloni. I have a home grown butternut pumpkin, some leeks and a huge bunch of silverbeet I bought at a produce market on Friday. Yummy hearty winter food. Then apple muffins – full of oats and bran. Great for quick breakfasts. And some choc chip cookies as a treat. Soul food. Make a big batch and freeze half the uncooked dough for a busy day. I’ll let you know how I get on.